just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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