dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Everything about him screamed your future.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
