I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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