best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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