shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Are we still banned from the library?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
