I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
