I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
