did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
