Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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