walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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