9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
