Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
