I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
