He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
