She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
