Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
