so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
