Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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