i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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