I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
