goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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