I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
