ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have aggressive nipples.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
