I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
