It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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