I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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