well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
