It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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