drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
