If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
