Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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