so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The adults are the big ones right?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
