you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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