Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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