you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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