Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
