hotel room ftw
I want to have your abortion
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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