I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
