we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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