I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
