oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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