I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
