i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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