Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry august24 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

Fav 47 1630 4219
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on

Fav 43 9971 1405
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.

Fav 30 14195 1646
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

Fav 28 2708 5123
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.

Fav 5 2997 2207
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this

Fav 8 3380 1414
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.

Fav 4 1781 674
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.

(1-905): View more from Ontario

Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.

(905): View more from Ontario

But I want to be Keith.

Fav 2 120 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.

(214): View more from Texas

What brownies? Ohmygod.

Fav 0 59 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT