You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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