they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
