You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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