um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
