So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
