I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
