Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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