oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
