I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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