I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
