he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Randomize
