You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
