you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
