I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
